with your own penis?
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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