Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
