foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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