ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
