The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize