It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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