oh god the rape fog is back!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Couch. On fire.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
