Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Everyone says I win the strip club
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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