it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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