Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
