i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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