There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
