You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
