the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
