Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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