I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
