Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
