Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just found puke in my bra..
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
