Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Michael Bay diarrhea
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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