Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Randomize
