Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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