if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
