Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
