C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
