HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
