Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
