Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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