I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
