Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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