i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
