PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
