i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
