She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
