Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
