I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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