My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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