JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize