Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
