did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
