I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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