It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
