singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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