this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
