he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You need a sexual gate keeper
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
