I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
