It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
