Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
