Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
