if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I love you. Go after that dick
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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