don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
