So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
