You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Randomize
