I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
