Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
