just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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