some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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