You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
