Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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