Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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