My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
