I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
