i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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