her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
