She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
