then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
