so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
