I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
