people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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