I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
