brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
