it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
