My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
