STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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