omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
