More tranny stories later!
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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